Y! Magazine

There’s a fabulous new magazine out, and if you haven’t heard about it, I have to ask --- where the hell have you been? Come out from under that rock this minute!

Hot stuff, huh? This is the magazine's cover page (from http://www.bellanaija.com/)

It’s actually more than a magazine, it’s a hot new brand, that also includes a TV show, radio show, website, newspaper column and reception. Y! represents the young Nigerian achiever – informed, driven and of course, very stylish. The brand self defines as "the new high priest of Nigerian youth culture".

"Y! Magazine will – using the best young Nigerian writers, interviewers photographers, stylists and others – document the lifestyle, issues, trends and personalities that define the character and aspiration of the young Nigerian," says Chude Jideonwo, the editor.

Even hotter! This picture from within the magazine is a poster, for you fans of Omotola and all things Y! 

There’s more about the magazine and the whole brand here on the official website. And here also and here again are pictures and gist from the launch of the magazine.

I am so very proud to be a part of this (even if as a yet-unknown aspiring writer).

It's now available in stores and with vendors nationwide, so buy it! And let your first stop be my personal favourite, a certain article by ‘Damilola Oyedele (Yes, I’m shameless like that).

That’s That!

Lights, Camera, Action!

Hello, and welcome to the world of many lights and much camera, but very little action.

We’re so image-obsessed today it’s disturbing. Humans have always felt the desire to be seen and heard, but the internet and social media (Facebook being the forerunner of the pack, with Twitter following closely behind) have taken the fire that satellite television kindled and set the world ablaze. In the twinkle of an eye you can let the world know your secrets and your thoughts, and five degrees of separation has been reduced to nil.

Take the desire to be known and put it together with the platform for doing so, and what you get is a lot of falsehood. There are too many words and too little action - this is the trap into which my generation is falling, myself included. We’re saying things we don’t mean, laughing out loud with blank expressions on our faces, and our wittiest comments are made with our fingers! This is the age where laziness has taken over and enthusiasm has been reduced to half a dozen exclamation marks!!!!!! I dare say we are living a lie and we are in trouble.

I knew I was doomed when a witty thought would come into my head and the following thought would be, “wow, that would make a great Facebook status update”.

You, yes, you with all those carefully selected and touched up photos in your photo albums (and I’m talking to myself too) – who are we deceiving? Bar those who haven’t seen you in the past five years, we all know you don’t look like that now!

And those of us who spend hours on Facebook looking at other people’s pictures – scrutinizing, criticizing, lusting – we need to get lives, or live the lives we already have.

Our generation’s opportunities are exponentially greater than those of the generations before us, and we are wasting our lives in my opinion. I am certainly not anti social media. I appreciate it’s value and the platform it has created for us, but the greater proportion of the world is misusing it. When you have something important to say; a brilliant product to promote, please feel free to broadcast yourself as much as you want to, but if all you want to do is rant about your ex, or tweet subliminal insults to his new girlfriend, please refrain from

clogging up cyberspace.

I reckon that those who are actually doing things are too busy to spend the bulk of twenty-four hours online. A blogger I follow once said (paraphrase) – let’s get off the internet and make some real memories.

To that I add “let’s shut down our laptops (put down those damn Blackberries) and go and get some fresh air! Rest our fingers! See the world! Be all we can be!”

Less lights and camera and more action please!

That’s That!

I Like Girls

Hey there! Anybody home?

I’ve been away for a while at the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) Orientation Camp. How did it go? Well, it was a mild version of hell to say the least. Maybe one day, when I’m finally over the post-traumatic stress disorder, I’ll be able to write my 'Tales by Moonlight: Camp Edition'. But for now, the topic du jour:

I Like Girls

I’ve never been a tomboy. I also have never been a girly girl. All my life I’ve been sitting daintily on the fence.

(By the way the art of sitting on the fence is something I’ve mastered, as confirmed by Robbins Begg Consulting. Their words: "Damilola’s dominant intelligence component is Diplomatic Intelligence…" Hmm.)

I also have no sisters, but I grew up with a couple of friends who were like sisters, so I have a good understanding and appreciation of the joys and the complexities of relationships between women.

A few years ago I literally had my life ripped off from beneath me.

Truth be told, that statement has a bit of a dramatic edge, but I did feel as though I had lost a huge chunk of all that I held dear at the time. I found myself thrown into a new environment (one which I had scorned and despised, mind you), and I found myself being forced to eat. Humble Pie, that is. Initially I struggled to fit into this new environment, but soon I settled in, realising it was part of God’s plan, which was far more wonderful than I could imagine. See, God had been good enough to give me what I needed, not what I wanted. But that’s a story for another blog entry or three.

Back to the point, I believe that any sane woman needs strong relationships with other like-minded sane women in order for her to retain her sanity.

I also believe that one's friendship circle should be kept small and tight as opposed to large and watered-down (Recall #23 of my 'This is Me' post).

Here I was, settling into this new environment, with no women I could connect with. I prayed, like I always do, and said “Lord, I’m losing my sanity. Please give me two good girlfriends.”

God sighed and answered “I won’t do that dear.”

Me: God, what did you just say?

God: I said I will NOT give you two girlfriends. I will surround you with multiples. However in your core, you will have a few great women to call your best friends.

And like He always does, He gave me what he promised.

Ladies, you know who you are. This post is dedicated to you:

A friend is someone who:

1. Is brutally honest about your strengths, and kindly honest about your weaknesses.

2. Calls you in the middle of the night to share that ‘hot’ gist with you. OR Calls you in the middle of the night because you’ve told her you want to share some ‘hot gist’ with her. And in both cases you wake up feeling hung over because you lost three to four hours of sleep talking, gossiping, analysing and strategising aka doing ‘MTN XtraCool’.

3. Will not judge you, and will even agree with you when you tell her about the hot young man you plan to marry, having known him for all of three minutes. She then proceeds to give you sound reasons as to why you shouldn't go ahead and propose just yet. (Beyond the jokes though, your friend will truly listen, empathise and give excellent advice anytime you need it.)

4. Stands in a long queue and pays for your Call-up Letter/whatever ahead of time so you don’t have to wait in line when you arrive.

5. Stares expressionlessly and refuses to argue with you when you’re in a bad mood.

6. Steals your quirky quotes and passes them off as hers… And you’re proud of her for it.

7. Asks after your welfare and celebrates your progress without a jealous tone of voice and the famous tinge of green in her brown eyes because she is secure in her own self.

8. You’ve discussed (in-depth) future career plans, as well as picnic, dinner and travel plans (complete with your husbands and children). You may even have pledged your unborn children to one another in marriage.

9. Will forgive you when you do stupid little things, like ditching her for your crush. She understands.

There’s so much more, but I will wrap up with this:

10. Above all, you can count on the fact that she is your God-given friend and the bond that holds you together is eternal.

What do you have to say about your own girlfriends?

Disclaimer (In case you missed it while reading the content, or decided to focus on the title alone): This is not a ‘coming out’ blog post. I am proudly heterosexual!

Milestone... My First 'Proper' Article in Print

Thanks to The The Future Project's Young Writers' Network, I got an internship at MADE Magazine, a Nigerian publication in the footsteps of GQ, FHM, etc. It was a great experience, to say the least!

My first task was to write an article on the Lagos State Climate Change Summit.  It seemed  very daunting. I hadn't attended the event, so I had no clue where to start from. But I called a few people up, and I did my best. I was very chuffed to hear that it would be published in the magazine's June 2010 edition (Volume 3 Issue 5). Here it is:

On the 2nd Annual Lagos State Climate Change Summit...

Carbon footprint, Greenhouse effect, conservation, deforestation… blah blah, who in these parts cares about all that scientific babble?

I could have sworn that I would never see the day when Nigerians would be concerned enough to sit, discuss and make plans concerning the subject of climate change. Clearly, I was wrong.

A Universal Concern

The truth is, this issue affects the entire human race now more than ever. Beneath the so-called scientific babble, there is a considerable threat to the planet. According to Professor Ademola Salau, who is the Climate Change consultant to the Lagos State Government, “even illiterates can see that the weather patterns are changing drastically. The rains and the heat are irregular”. He says the matter of climate change is a complicated one, affecting human life, politics, business, and the economy.

Lagos Goes Green

The Lagos State Government held the 2nd Annual Summit to tackle the issue of Climate Change from the 4th to the 7th of May at Eko Hotel and Suites, Victoria Island. Lagos State governor, Babatunde Raji Fashola insisted that the summit was “not a doomsday gathering but a serious wake up call to the biggest threat ever to confront the human race without discrimination”. People across the world made Lagos their home for the four days of the outstanding event. A few of the countries represented were Malaysia, Geneva, Pakistan, the United States and Mexico. A wide range of topics were discussed at the summit such as; how to adapt to climate change, best practice, financing mitigation activities and collaboration. All in all, it was a highly successful event that re-affirmed the leadership of Lagos state as responsive and forward-thinking.

In the style of a true Lagosian, who works hard and plays equally hard, the host, Governor Fashola held a dinner reception for all the participants at the end of summit. A high point was during a performance by Daddy Showkey, where the governor and his distinguished guests were arm-twisted into rising to their feet to groove to the beat; quite a sight to behold!

Other States Follow Suit

One highlight of the summit was the roundtable discussion by the governors of other states who attended. Each one spoke on a ‘Sub national Approach for Addressing Climate Change’. CNN correspondent, Brent Sadler, moderated the session, and he was able to get the governors to speak frankly, as opposed to their usual delivery of pre-written speeches. Governors Ali Modu Sherrif (Borno), Adams Oshiomole (Edo) and Namandi Sambo (Kaduna), who were at the summit, promised to join in waging the war against climate change. The governors of Abia, Delta, Niger and Ondo could not be present at the event, but showed their support by sending representatives.

The Power of One

Because climate change affects us all, we all have a part to play. The question is this – how can we, as Nigerian citizens, better relate to the environment in order to help solve the climate change problem? While joining a Tree-Huggers Society would be going too far for most, each one of us can contribute a small piece to the greater goal of a cleaner environment. Professor Salau says, “we can’t leave it all to the government. It requires collaboration and concerted effort”. Here’s some of his advice:

• Switch off electrical appliances like the lights, air conditioners and fancy gadgets when they aren’t in use. This will significantly reduce the emission of harmful gases.

• Dispose of waste properly.

• When you can walk a distance, don’t drive.

We will see these little drops add up. If you want to take his advice a step further you can plant a tree, or find a tree planter or a conservation agency to support, as trees absorb Greenhouse gases.

Sustainable Success

Plans are already in place to give next year’s edition of the summit a much broader scope and depth. The tag line of the program says it best: Join the green crusade – Keep Lagos State (and Nigeria) clean and beautiful. We will see the benefits of this phenomenal conference in the months and years to come, as we partner with the government by actively participating in the establishment of a greener Nigeria – pun intended!

(c) 2010, MADE Magazine

I Will Not Succumb!

What's it with the heavy pressure on young Nigerian women to get married? I refuse to succumb! I initially brought this up question as a Facebook status update. I used to dismiss the topic as one of the over-discussed. But I must admit, that was before the pressure was getting to me!

A few months ago I was feeling young and happy to be a graduate with my 'whole life ahead of me’. More recently, I started to feel like a ticking time bomb. I must confess I was feeling a little desperate for Mr Right a while ago. I even gave God a ‘deadline’… (Yes o, I’m only being honest). That was before I gave myself a good slap (I literally slapped my own face as I do from time to time). But really, this is an absolutely crazy sentiment because I am just two tens and two units old!

When I was in school I violently dismissed the fact that this pressure existed. A friend of mine spoke of an alumnus who was ‘still unmarried many years after university’. ‘God forbid o! 11 years out of school and she’s not married? *Shock horror!*’

I was always the one who would turn statements like these into arguments. I would passionately state that this ‘ marriage-by-force mindset’ is backward. So what if she’s not married? Why should a woman be judged by her marital status? Why should she be made to feel that the whole reason for her existence is to trade in her father’s last name and begin to manufacture her husband’s babies?

I realise that I may have been in a bubble – trying (too) hard to ignore/deny facts.

I can not speak authoritatively about many cultures, but I know that in Nigeria, a person, particularly, a woman is judged by her marital status, and the number and sex of her children. It may not be the truth, but the cold, hard FACT is that without a husband and children a woman will not be taken seriously. Take two women – Frustrated Married Madam (FMM) and Happily Single Babe (HSB). FMM’s husband would give Tyson and Ali a run for their money. He could also possibly outrun Tiger the ‘Cheetah’. FMM has two beautiful children though.

And then there’s HSB. She comes home to a peaceful, albeit very empty house, where she is free to just be.

Put both side by side in my society and FMM comes up tops 8 out of 10 times. What does that say about us? Quite simply, it says that in our own convoluted, paternalistic way, we are not so different from the big, bad West who we criticize for all our woes. We also value appearances (i.e. our idea of what is good) over truth and reality.

I must commend my parents (for now) though. They have never made me feel this strange, premature pressure. On the contrary, my dad is understandably mum on the subject. I’m sure the notion of his only daughter getting married off will never be a wholly gratifying topic. My mum shakes her head and says ‘Marriage is no joke o, you must get it right once and for all, so take your time.’ Then she goes on to give examples of some failed marriages. Truer words were never spoken.

Still this doesn’t mean that my other family and friends share the same view.

I have gotten lectured, speeched and talked, by older family members. Case in point – my auntie’s response to the said Facebook status update was this: ‘You haven't seen pressure o...just do quick and bring husband, otherwise, the 'real pressure' will mount up’. Hmmm…

However, the crowning glory was one morning at my grandparents’ (I love to stay at their house – I get spoiled beyond belief). That morning I was lying down, reading my bible. Grandma comes in and sits on the bed.

‘Damilola I want to talk to you.’ My heart skips a beat. I sit up, puzzled – I think it’s something serious.

She begins. ‘You know you’re now a big girl. You’re not a baby anymore, ehn. You’ve finished school and if you have someone that you like….’

Ah ha! The lecture; the speech; the talk.

The snag is that I would never ever have expected to get it from my grandmother, at least not yet. It was a full thirty minute speech. She waited for my comments at the end. I simply smiled and said ‘Grandma I’ve heard.’

And then there’s the men! Ha, what the hell! They’re suddenly sprouting out of nowhere with renewed brashness, as if I have desperado written on my brow. Or am I being over sensitive? Please (help me) judge.

One gave me a gift – a Christian book titled ‘The Single Life’ after our SECOND meeting. This first meeting, it lasted no longer than five minutes o, and even then I spent the whole time inching further and further away from his assault-by-halitosis.

And another one. I am walking into UBA House on the Marina, when a Random Young Man (RYM) comes up behind me and grabs at my hand. Imagine…

Me (squinting and frowning in shock, surprise and everything in between): Sorry, do I know you?

I expect him to say something like, ‘don’t you remember me from school/church/somewhere?’ At least I would have been a little relieved. Alas…

RYM (grinning from ear to ear): We entered the same BRT from Obanikoro.

Me (mildly hysterical): You don’t even know me and you just tried to hold my hand!

RYM (still showing his 32): Hope you don’t mind.

Me: I don’t know you!

I start to walk faster. To cut a long, weird story short, he asks for my number and I refuse, still in shock. He explains that he only came this way because of me. I smile and tell him he’s much better off going his way….

With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve made my point.

Another point is….

I want to travel to obscure countries – I want to meet people from different cultures. I want a rich life! Of course I can do this as a married woman but guess what? You guessed right! The same people – grandparents, parents, uncles, aunties, neighbours, family friends, enemies who were singing ’Where is he?’ will change from winking at your face to winking at your belly as soon as you return from the moon. They’ll ask about your health. Which is a (not subtle) way of asking if you don swallow belle. They will not stop! So what if I had put off my dreams and pursued marriage just to please them? I will have to put off my dreams again for the next how many years while I raise children to please them! By then, who knows what will have become of my joie de vivre? Do you catch my drift…

Do not get me wrong o. I want to be married, and I will be. I will make all the necessary sacrifices to build my home and take care of my family. I have strong feelings and no illusions about the idea of being a ‘working mother’, (a view I’ll share later on this blog). But I will do all this at the right time and for the right reasons. I will have the pleasure of knowing that I am giving up/holding on on some goals as MY CHOICE. Not because of the ‘pressure’ from the people around me, but because it’s God’s time.

That’s That!

This Is Me

Here are some things about me that I couldn’t fit into the ‘About Me’ box. It was lifted from my Facebook page, where I wrote it a while ago. Some of the statements are now out of date, so I made notes below.

1. I am extremely diplomatic. I will almost always tell you what I think you want to hear, except with very close friends, and even then…

2. I have no time for stuck up, self-important fools. Pride is so unattractive.

3. I adapt to my environment completely, i.e. I can change from a very well mannered lady to a total razz mess, depending on where I am.

4. I have the ability to make myself laugh (hmm where have I heard that before?) and I’m okay at making others laugh too. I really admire funny and quick witted people.

5. (Dedicated to name withheld for privacy) I STILL SUCK my tongue and squash my belly button (gosh). Hence I have a belly button shape that ensures that I will never feel inclined to expose my tummy!!!*

6. Coming to university in the town of Ile-Ife is the best thing that has happened to me yet. I have been changed.

7. I am a reader. Avid does not begin to describe how much I read, I read everything.

8. I have the random ability to keep the most random stuff for the most absurdly random time. Notes, pens, pins, etc. Case in point, my (inherited) old faithful journal is now about 9 years old and counting (Can anyone remember the red furry journal with black spots?!) And I very recently lost a pen my class teacher, Mr Olajide, gave us all in Grade 12 (2003).

9. Did I mention that I write too? I’m convinced I peaked in secondary school though. Since then I have attempted several times and struggle to write a coherent piece of literature (not entirely true). I won’t give up trying though. Honestly, sadly, I think I just might make a great editor.**

10. I think mobile phones in general, and text messages in particular are the worst things to ever happen to written English Language. It bugs me when people write things like ‘gud’ or ‘dem’ or forget to put commas and full stops, and I’ll ONLY do some of it sometimes to save space on a text message and immediately ask for forgiveness from the Fathers of English. However I would never be caught dead writing things like “lyfe”.

11. For more than a decade I was convinced that I was born to be doctor. It took two weeks of trudging around University College Hospital, Ibadan in 2003 to burst that bubble.

12. The glass is half empty.

13. My favourite food? I can’t choose! I love food. I love to try new tastes and foods as long as they smell good (no offence to South Africans who think boiled uncleaned intestines of a cow is a delicacy). I also enjoy cooking, but not as much as I enjoy eating.

14. Hence I have the most fluctuating weight ever. I’m usually on a ‘diet’. My mum has told me that my wedding gift from her would be a treadmill.

15. I love God and He loves me. That’s why I am. I believe that one has to anchor one’s life on something solid or risk insanity.

16. My name is way too long. Imagine having to write Oluwadamilola Odunayo Oyedele on every page in an exam. It slows me down!!! The man I marry would have to have a surname that is just as long as or better still shorter than my father’s.

17. I don’t like my teeth thanks to sucking, and will get braces sometime in the future. My parents have ignored all my pleas, threats, and blackmail over the years. “Your teeth are ok!” Humph. That’s just made me more obsessed.

18. I can be really mean sometimes. I’m working on that.

19. I love music. If I like a song, I will play it over and over again for days till it has engraved itself into me. Everything happens to the music in my head, and the lyrics of the song don’t necessarily correlate to the situation.

20. I ‘stab’ way more lectures than I should. I’ve refused to go to lectures today. I can’t wait to be through with uni and all the accompanying guilt.***

21. I’ve inherited a strange ability from my maternal grandmother. When I’m really happy and we’re conversing, I'll pick up the last thing you said and turn it into a chorus. Random!!!

22. My favourite pet is my baby brother Gbemiro. He’s adorable, intelligent and for now he’s still happy to run errands!

23. My few good friends are like my family. I’m not the friend-y sort of bird. I’d rather fly alone, thank you.

24. My favourite quote at the moment is “I have a Bachelors degree in Business, but a PhD in Common Sense” by Ben Bruce.

25. I’m a romantic.

Hope you’ve learned a thing or two!

Hope you’ve smiled at least once too…

* (#5) I literally woke up one day and decided that I was tired of sucking my tongue. I wrote it down in a notebook, and that was it! From that moment I ceased to uglify my face and destroy my teeth by weirdly folding my tongue backwards and sucking on it. I believe that only those who have sucked (fingers, tongue, and other unmentionable parts) will understand how hard it is to stop. But I have. Praise the Lord! As for the belly button… ahem.

** (#9) Scratch that! I am a writer, period.

*** (#20) I’m now through, thank God.

Drumbeats

Before you read this, let me give a rough background.

I wrote this poem at a very trying time in my life. I guess the pain was good because this poem made me really so happy that I desired to add 'poet' to the list of thing I aspire to be. So here it is...

Drumbeats

Drumbeats of my sunrise,

Drumbeats of my past.

The familiar sounds of childhood,

The joys and pains that last.

Whenever I’m awake at night,

And as I drift across the day,

The steady beats lurk in the crooks of my mind,

I constantly hear them play.

The familiar rhythm of these drumbeats,

They take me on my journey,

As the steady beats go on I recognize

My very enthralling story.

The twists and turns of this enchanting tale,

I can interpret most of the time,

Like when the beat becomes a wanton wail,

As the drums slow to a woeful whine.

At times the beats elude me,

They become a strain to hear,

Or I cannot make out the complicated clatter

Which begin to fill my tiny ears.

No matter how hard I strain to make sense

Of this seemingly melodious rumble,

The beats, they elude me and seem to be

Surely enjoying my perplexed anxiety.

Other times my drumbeats get too loud,

I cannot bear to hear them.

Or is my conscience constricting my capacity,

As it blocks out the mocking jeers?

These drumbeats, they seem to tell, again, of times gone very far,

Of the stings that never dull – the strikes, prickly as a stare.

So I try to block the tempo’s shout,

Hoping that with time, the beats will die out.

The simplest are the ones, those beats,

Which make me grin and cackle as I listen.

I so want to tap the solemn stranger beside me,

And share the magical rhythm.

The perfect pulse, at the perfect volume,

These beats are especially pleasing,

But I cannot take note of them for long,

I’m inclined to lose myself in their unrealistic song.

So contrary to what may seem clear,

My most enchanting rhythms,

Are not the thrilling thumps the drumbeats make.

They are the mystical tempos of foreign lands,

Strokes of alien journeys I am yet to take.

I have never heard these beats echo, yet they hold the greatest allure,

They are the drumbeats of my sunset,

Drumbeats of a future pure.

© 2006, Oluwadamilola Odunayo Oyedele